Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize