Will you blow on my dice?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
