idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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