Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
