So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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