i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She even gives head with a lisp.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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