I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
vagina is talking i cant
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
