He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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