oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
