So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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