Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
