my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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