I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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