Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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