It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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