Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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