yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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