remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
