Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
