Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
