i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
