Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
