somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
