He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize