I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
