What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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