we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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