lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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