the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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