Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
tell me about the eggs
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
