Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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