she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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