Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
