so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
