ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We left the knife in your bed.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
