Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
