theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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