yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
