Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
