in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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