Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
