i just had sex bonerless
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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