so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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