Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
