my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
