so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
