There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
