This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
