I got chris browned last night
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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