Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
