Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
