dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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