Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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