it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
