i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
