So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
