NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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