maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
