Swine flu is the new snow day.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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