just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
