we made out on top of his cat.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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