i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
