I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
